Baby shower

Tomorrow I am going to make cupcakes for a baby shower.  It's my cousin's girlfriend's baby shower.  What is sad about this though is that I found out through an open invite to the baby shower on FB, and I hadn't realized that my cousin was going to be a dad.  Yeah, can you tell we have a tight nit family?

While finding out about this baby shower, and planning on making cupcakes for it, there is a huge portion of my family who is going to be there as well.  And I found out that my cousin's two brothers, my other cousins, all have little ones, and one even has a little on on the way as well as another little one. 

Yup, my family is really really close. 

My family used to be close, once upon a time.  Before my grandparents died.  They were what held us together as a family, and without them, we dispersed.  There were bridges burned at one point, and then they were mended.  Feelings get hurt often, and in this family, crazy is the normal, not the abnormal.  So it's not surprising that I had no clue about my cousins.

The saddest part about not knowing about the baby shower I am going to tomorrow is the fact that it is here, in the little town I live in.  And I do live in a little town.  One where everyone knows everyone else.  And I have lived here, with family here, for 5 years now.  And we have seen each other twice in that time.  Once at a family reunion I planned when I first moved back, and then at one of my cousin's weddings, where Aiden was the ring bearer. 

I need to make more of an effort.  I really am a family oriented person.  I want family.  I create my own family, but I would love to try to be family with those I am blood related to as well.  Skeletons in the closet be damned, I want my family back.

So, enough of the non-happy stuff, tomorrow I will be baking.  I will be up early, making angel food cupcakes with a strawberry whipped cream, chocolate chip cookie dough cupcakes, triple lemon cupcakes, and vegan chocolate cupcakes and vegan chai tea cupcakes.

I will post pictures.  I will enjoy myself.  I got some new piping tips, so that should make it so much more fun too.  So, until tomorrow.

*oh, and yesterday, it sucked.  I started my morning with an abdominal ultrasound, which showed nothing to be causing the pain, but I do have an accessory spleen, then ended up in the ER later in the evening, they worried about it being a heart attack or a pulmonary embolism, I ended up on oxygen, was given aspirin, was wired up, given fluid and pain meds, and had a CT scan.  They still know nothing, but think it's an ulcer.  I'm supposed to talk to the gastro dr on monday.*